What I wish I had been taught
Influential teacher?
Richard P. Feynman
Photo by Janko Ferlič on Unsplash
Impractical knowledge
“The value of an education in a liberal arts college
is not the learning of many facts
but the training of the mind to think something
that cannot be learned from textbooks.”
– Albert Einstein
When I reflect on my school days, which spanned from the mid-seventies to the eighties, I notice a significant disparity between what I was taught and the tasks and skills I utilize in my everyday life.
School played a crucial role in teaching foundational skills like reading, writing, mathematics, and language proficiency. It also imparted basic knowledge about how the world works and came into existence. While subjects such as biology, physics, chemistry, history, geography, and economics had their interesting aspects, delving into the minutiae of these subjects made it challenging to apply them practically in everyday life. One could argue that this falls under general knowledge, but if you were to ask most adults about these specific details, I bet the majority would have forgotten a significant portion of it, never having had a need to use that information later in life.
On the other hand, there are several crucial areas in life, which have a substantial impact, that are not adequately addressed in school. These areas encompass the mundane tasks of our everyday existence, such as household chores, financial literacy, and, in today’s world, media consumption.
It is assumed that many of these life lessons will be taught by parents and family. Unfortunately, this leaves it up to chance and circumstance as to how well-versed they are in a particular subject and whether they have the time and interest to pass on that knowledge to their children. For example, my father taught me how to use power tools and fix things, but he was not knowledgeable about personal finance (beyond being frugal), nutrition, or how to navigate emerging technologies like computers in the 80s. It was mostly through luck and happenstance that I developed an interest in these topics at certain points in my life, missing out on opportunities that I could have seized much earlier if I had someone to introduce me to those subjects.
Additionally, our society is increasingly driven by comfort and complacency, with an expectation that someone else—the school system, the government, or others—will take care of things. And if things do not work out, we know whom to blame. This sentiment became apparent when I observed the debates about the outcome of the latest local elections in Germany from last Sunday.
Although I do not have children of my own, I perceive that these two notions—relying on chance for essential life lessons and a growing culture of comfort—create an environment where younger generations may feel less prepared for life compared to previous generations. While they have access to the internet and an abundance of information, there is a distinction between being knowledgeable about certain things and being able to apply that knowledge to think, reason, and take action.
The development of skills necessary to navigate one’s life is a continuous learning process, something that is diverse and ever-evolving as one grows (not just in age). I refer to this concept as “Life Literacy“.
Note:
This text serves as a starting point for reflection, providing prompts and triggers. For the sake of brevity, it cannot be comprehensive nor does it delve into the details of the topics. It deliberately or accidentally excludes other important aspects of life such as art & music, manners, classical literacy, philosophy & politics, business, and many more. I selected the ones, that I deemed most relevant based on my personal experience, but others may find different subjects of more importance. That is completely ok and up to each person to decide. Nonetheless, I hope this approach offers perspective and proves useful.
Fitness
If you have been following my blog and newsletter, it is no surprise that I am going to talk about fitness. Recently, after reading “Outlive” by Peter Attia, I am even more convinced that fitness and exercise should be key cornerstone habits that nearly everyone needs to prioritize.
During my school days, we had physical education, but if you were anything like me, you probably dreaded those hours. It felt like we were thrown into activities we had no training in and ended up feeling inadequate, or we were left to play team sports where we were always picked last.
What was (and still is) missing is a fundamental education on how exercise works. Understanding the interplay between resistance/strength training, endurance/cardio exercises (preferably in zone 2), and flexibility/mobility can greatly benefit our bodies in different ways.
It would only require a few hours of school time to explain these basic concepts to kids and develop a more personalized approach for each child to get them started and acknowledge their progress. Instead, there were tests and grades to meet, and it was up to the kids to figure out how to achieve those goals without any guidance or training options outside of the scheduled sessions.
Now, do not get me wrong. I am not suggesting that we declare everyone a winner in every competition, as is sometimes done nowadays. That would not be challenging or inspiring. However, grading kids in physical education classes does not help either; it only serves to destroy their self-confidence and the joy of exercising. During my time, we were graded on everything—long jump, high jump, short track, medium and long-distance running, shot put, backflips, bar exercises, gymnastics, football, basketball, volleyball, handball, and more. It is no surprise that every kid struggled with at least one of these activities, and many struggled with several.
Exercise can and should be fun, and everyone should ask themselves how they are doing and how they are progressing.
Here are a few prompts for us to consider:
- Can I do (and how many/for how long)? Push-Ups, Dead Hangs, Pull-Ups, Dips, Squats, Lunges, Wall Sits, Planks (regular and side)
- If you have dumbbells, you can also consider: Deadlifts, Presses, Rows
- Can I run (and how fast)? 100m, 1km, 10km
- Can I balance on one leg for thirty seconds and go from sitting to standing without using my hands?
Nutrition
It is not surprising that the topic of health and nutrition aligns with fitness. However, it is astonishing how little this subject was addressed in the school system. In my school, we had one teacher who continuously warned about the negative effects of sugar. At that time, it was quite unusual and contradicted the collective beliefs ingrained by advertisements and the industry (remember the Nutella ads claiming to be a “healthy breakfast spread”?). Unfortunately, this teacher was ridiculed and complained to by parents who believed she had a negative influence on their kids.
Looking back, we were naive. But if we observe what kids are currently being advertised and how our bodies are wired, it seems that we have not made much progress. Many kids (and adults) tend to opt for ultra-processed foods that are high in fat, sugar, and simple carbohydrates. When compared to that, a classic schnitzel with french fries can appear as a healthy option.
Educating kids about macronutrients (protein, fat, carbohydrates), basic metabolism (calorie intake and expenditure), the importance of fiber and the gut microbiome, as well as hydration, would go a long way. The obesity crisis that has tripled since the mid-seventies should serve as a clear warning sign, but unfortunately, it seems to be largely ignored.
In many Western countries, the majority of the diet consists of ultra-processed foods. Fresh vegetables, legumes, fruits, whole grains, nuts, lean meat, and fish are relatively rare on our plates due to the inconvenience of preparation and consumption, as well as their higher cost compared to a frozen pizza.
Teaching kids how to cook, discussing the origin of the food they consume (making it clear that burgers (not even the vegan ones) do not grow on trees and pasta is made from wheat flour), introducing them to variety, and exposing them to different flavors and tastes could help combat the growing ignorance about the food we consume.
Now, let us reflect on our habits with a few prompts:
- How many calories am I eating?
- Track your calorie intake for a week, and you will be surprised by the results—I promise.
- How much protein, fat, and carbohydrates do I consume per day?
- I am willing to bet that you are not getting enough protein in your diet.
- What is in my pantry/fridge? How much of it is ultra-processed?
- How often do I cook at home using fresh ingredients?
Finance
Money is often considered a taboo topic in our society. It is as if money is seen as the root of evil, and having more than the average is something to be ashamed of. However, nearly everybody strives to earn more money and spend it. This peculiar situation leads to a lack of open discussion about money and investing, both at home and in schools.
In my own experience, money or investing was never a real topic of conversation at home. Saving and living frugally were emphasized, but investing was never considered because we did not see ourselves in a position to do so. The financial advice I received from my bank during my youth was limited to fixed savings accounts, endowment insurance, or home savings contracts. Ignorant of how investing and the stock market worked, I stuck to this strategy until my mid-twenties. Fortunately, I did not have much to invest initially, and the interest rates worked in my favor. However, it was not sound financial advice.
Compounding the problem is the fact that schools rarely teach personal finance. While you may learn about the principles of the economy, you are unlikely to learn how to read balance sheets or diversify assets. It is only when you have to file your first tax statements, sign a significant loan, or consider investing a substantial amount of savings that you realize your lack of knowledge. At this point, you may feel that insurance agents, financial advisors, or bankers do not always prioritize your best interests (which, in many cases, is true and inherent in the system).
Therefore, it becomes imperative to educate ourselves and our children about various financial topics such as income and spending, budgeting and cash flow, debt and interest, taxes and inflation, compounding effects and time in the market, insurance, asset classes (stocks, bonds, real estate, gold, etc.), risk and reward distributions, and currency. Without this knowledge, we run the risk of living paycheck to paycheck, accumulating credit card debt, and being unable to afford unexpected emergencies—similar to the situation faced by the majority of people in the US today.
Let us reflect on our financial situation using the following prompts:
- How much do I earn and spend each month?
- What are my biggest spending categories?
- How much credit card debt do I have, and do I pay it back automatically?
- What insurance policies do I have, and what risks do they cover? How much do I pay for them?
- What is my savings rate? How much of my income am I able to save?
- How large is my emergency fund? In other words, how long would my available assets sustain me if I had no income? Consider cash, checking accounts, and other readily available funds.
- In which asset classes am I invested? Do I have investments in stocks, bonds, real estate, gold, or other assets?
- How large is my net worth currently, and how does it align with my retirement goals?
- What is my pension gap? Estimate your expected pension and compare it to your anticipated financial needs in retirement.
Household
Managing a household, despite being perceived as mundane, is not as straightforward as commonly believed. In the past, there was often a clear division of responsibilities within a family, with a stay-at-home mom and a working dad. However, in today’s world, we see an increasing number of single households where individuals must take care of all the tasks required for everyday life.
In my own experience, both of my parents worked full-time, so my brother and I had to learn from a young age how to prepare our own lunches after school and contribute to household chores like cleaning and grocery shopping. We even received our own toolkit at a young age and occasionally accompanied our dad to construction sites to assist with fixing sinks or plumbing. These lessons proved valuable when renovating my first house and continue to be useful in maintaining my belongings. It is not surprising that friends often ask for my help with household tasks when I visit. However, my wife, who did not have the same experiences growing up, feels somewhat helpless when faced with any malfunction or issue, even something as simple as checking the tire pressure of her car (she is brilliant in many other ways).
Observing the children of friends, I notice similar patterns. Some kids are heavily protected, with their parents solely focusing on their academic performance and grades. On the other hand, some children are involved in daily chores and become proficient in cooking and other practical skills. If older kids cannot be left alone for a few days or a weekend without assistance, I start to wonder if this learned self-helplessness truly benefits them in the long run. Perhaps it would be more beneficial to expose them to the responsibilities of independent living at an earlier age.
Let’s reflect on our household management skills or those of your children using the following prompts:
- Can I create a grocery list and meal plan for a week and know how to shop accordingly?
- Can I cook basic dishes such as stir-fries, pasta, rice, or potatoes?
- Can I bake a cake or bread?
- Can I clean windows, bathrooms, and floors effectively?
- Can I sew a loose button or mend clothing with a patch?
- Can I assemble furniture, at least the ones from IKEA?
- Can I safely operate basic power tools like a drill or circular saw?
- Can I fix a shelf or install a lamp on a wall or ceiling?
- Can I properly wire a lamp or other electrical device?
- Can I replace a broken faucet?
- Can I paint a wall?
- Can I fill fuel, oil, and water in my car?
- Can I change the tires of my car?
Outdoors
Having basic survival skills is not limited to preparing for a zombie apocalypse; they can come in handy during various outdoor activities like hikes, picnics, or camping trips. During my youth, my family often spent vacations in our tiny cottage without water and electricity in Franconian Switzerland, or we would go hiking in the Austrian Alps. These experiences allowed me to have fun playing in the woods, cooking over an open fire, and climbing mountains with ropes.
In today’s age, it seems that many children find their entertainment mainly in digital devices. When I go for my daily walks in the forest near my house, I rarely see kids playing outdoors like we used to. I find this somewhat disappointing. Engaging activities like geocaching can be great for getting them outdoors, but even a two-week camping trip can provide an amazing experience. My wife and I once went on a camping trip to Sweden, taking my small car and a tent. While we mostly stayed in campgrounds and not so much in the wilderness, it was still a refreshing change from staying in a hotel.
Now, let us consider some prompts to evaluate your own survival skills and preparedness for outdoor adventures:
- Can I properly pack and wear a backpack, considering weight distribution and comfort?
- Can I read a map and navigate using a compass?
- Can I interpret weather patterns and make informed decisions based on them?
- Can I build and safely start a small campfire for cooking and warmth?
- Can I set up a tent and find or create a shelter for overnight stays?
- Can I tie basic knots to fix or secure various things?
- Can I identify some edible berries, mushrooms, or fruits in the wilderness?
- Can I catch, clean, and gut a fish?
- Can I administer basic first aid in case of injuries or emergencies?
Media
As we transition from the physical space to the conceptual and digital space, our access to information has exponentially expanded. In my youth, we had limited options with only three TV programs broadcasting for a limited time, a couple of radio stations, and minimal exposure to newspapers, magazines, and books. As a result, my information intake was relatively limited, and I relied heavily on mainstream news as my primary source, assuming its credibility.
Contrast that with today’s media landscape. We now have hundreds of linear TV and radio stations, along with streaming services, social media platforms, news apps, and constant notifications. We are bombarded with information from various sources, many of which are unknown to us, and their credibility may be unclear. The term “fake news” was not part of our vocabulary back then; however, the challenge of distinguishing truth from falsehood has become significantly more complex and demanding in today’s digital age.
There is an ongoing battle for our attention, as many media outlets monetize content consumption. This often leads to an overemphasis on sensational and attention-grabbing content, rather than focusing on what is truly informative. The saying “If it bleeds, it leads” captures the tendency to prioritize extreme topics that grab attention. Unconsciously, this can shape our worldview and beliefs, painting a picture of a world dominated by violence, war, crisis, and scandals, despite the fact that the world has actually improved over the last centuries.
To navigate this information maze, it is crucial to apply critical thinking, question the credibility of sources, seek multiple perspectives and contradictory views, withhold judgment, and be aware of manipulation techniques, our own biases, and cognitive heuristics. These skills become increasingly valuable in making sense of the vast amount of information available to us. But do we really make this apparent to us and our children? We would be well advised as it only will get worse for the foreseeable future.
To reflect on how you form your views on the world, consider the following prompts:
- Where do I primarily get my news and information from?
- How many different sources do I actively utilize to gather information?
- What are the intentions and business models of the news sources I rely on, and how does that impact their credibility?
- Am I exposed to contradicting views, or do I find myself in a bubble? Why are there contradicting views?
- What biases, beliefs, and frame of reference do I apply when interpreting information?
Digital
The way we communicate has undergone a dramatic transformation over the past thirty years. In my youth, our options were limited to in-person conversations, letter writing, or making phone calls. However, even phone calls were not always feasible due to limited phone availability and the high cost of long-distance calls. We had to be mindful of the duration of our calls to avoid excessive charges, often relying on timers next to the phone.
In those days, our existence and identity were primarily confined to our immediate social circles. Nobody outside those circles knew who we were or that we even existed.
Fast forward to the present, and we exist in two distinct forms: our physical selves and our digital twins. Our digital twins are comprised of the information we expose on the internet, particularly through social media platforms and various digital systems like banks, insurance companies, and online shops.
While this digital presence brings certain benefits, it also exposes us to significant risks concerning data privacy, involuntary exposure, and cybercrime. Pictures from parties in our youth were kept private, mostly residing in old photo albums. However, today’s Instagram stories, TikTok shorts, and Twitter posts can persist for a long time and are accessible to almost anyone on the planet. There have been numerous instances in the media where politicians have been confronted with their past statements and private photos, which the opposition utilizes for their own interests (e.g., the party pictures of former Finnish Prime Minister Sanna Marin).
Moreover, the personal data we willingly share is used for commercial purposes. While personalized advertisements on the web are the most apparent aspect, data is also traded to correlate user profiles, spending habits, health insights, and more, all in an effort to target individuals and their finances. The advancement of AI will further expedite this process, potentially leading to even more subtle manipulation. Additionally, there are criminal aspects such as identity theft, credit card fraud, ransomware, and other cybercrimes to consider.
The internet is an archive that rarely forgets, making it easy to search and retrieve information. While it is not a reason to be paranoid, it is essential for all of us (and teach it to our children) to be aware and cautious about the potential risks and lack of complete safety in the online realm.
To help you navigate this digital landscape, here are some reminders and prompts:
- Do I have a clear understanding of the services and websites I am registered with?
- Am I aware of the companies that possess my account or credit card information?
- Do I regularly unsubscribe or unregister from sites and services I no longer use?
- Do I reflect on the content I post on social media, considering whether I might feel embarrassed about it in the future?
- Do I have a password policy in place and change my passwords regularly?
- Have I set up virus scanners, firewalls, and VPNs on my devices for added security?
- Do I encrypt and back up my important data on a regular basis?
- Do I declutter my digital information and actively reduce my digital footprint?
Relationship & Sex
One of the most challenging aspects of human development is learning how to form relationships, which is often an experiential process rather than something explicitly taught.
During our early years, we observe and mimic the behavior of those around us, particularly our parents, close family members, and friends. The way they interact with each other and with us establishes the norm, and we unconsciously adopt similar behaviors without even realizing it.
I am fortunate to have a twin brother with whom I played, fought, and sometimes got into trouble. This dynamic provided an opportunity for us to develop and exchange views within a shared context. However, with the increase in single-child families, such opportunities for social learning are becoming less common.
In kindergarten and school, we were also exposed to social conditioning. I attended a Catholic kindergarten run by nuns and teachers, which imposed strict discipline. Additionally, school education in those days was often hierarchical and focused on frontal teaching, with few collaborative projects. These experiences taught me to rely on myself, be self-sufficient, and only open up to my closest friends, if at all.
While these traits can be beneficial in certain situations, they can also be harmful in others. Over time, I believe I have improved, but I cannot deny that my default conditioning still inclines me to solve problems on my own rather than ask for help.
In today’s world, much of this conditioning occurs not only within families, schools, and social circles but also through the internet. Influencers, a term that did not carry the same meaning thirty years ago, portray images that are often make-believe but presented as real. They showcase lifestyles that are unattainable and unsustainable for most people. There is a wide range of influences, from toxic masculinity, red and black pill ideologies, extreme feminism, backward-oriented traditionalism, excessive luxury egocentrism, to woke and cancel culture, and many more.
In Western culture, this is often accompanied by hypersexualism, where nearly everything is advertised using provocative models – the saying “Sex sells” comes to mind. The idealized six-pack ripped beach body or Brazilian booty becomes the standard of desirability, and any form of intimacy that deviates from what is depicted in easily accessible pornographic content is considered unsatisfactory.
During my youth, these topics were essentially taboo and rarely discussed openly, neither in schools nor at home. We had a basic biology class in fourth grade to explain the differences between boys and girls, but that was the extent of our “education.” We relied on experimentation without much guidance or understanding. Looking back, I see this as both a blessing and a curse.
Nowadays, many families and schools still avoid openly addressing these topics, assuming that children have already figured them out through the internet. However, I consider this a slippery slope, as it denies the opportunity for meaningful discussions and prevents young individuals from sharing their expectations, fears, and insecurities with others. This lack of open dialogue extends beyond sex and encompasses all aspects of relationships.
In the end, I believe we would benefit from having more open conversations about these topics than we typically do. This is the only prompt that is really needed.
Becoming literate
“Children must be taught how to think, not what to think.”
– Margaret Mead
Becoming literate in these aspects requires dedication and effort, as mentioned earlier. While we can seek assistance from others, whether it is at home, in school, or even on the internet, ultimately, it is our responsibility to determine the kind of person we want to become.
A tweet from the account of Prof. Feynman, one of the greatest teachers in physics of all time, encapsulates this idea perfectly:
“The ultimate goal of education should be to empower individuals to become lifelong learners
who can adapt to a rapidly changing world, embrace diversity,
and work towards a more just and sustainable future.”
Nowadays we refer to this idea as Growth Mindset.
Additionally, it is important to remember that education and knowledge alone do not define our character or make us better individuals. It is our attitude towards ourselves and others, our values, beliefs, and actions that truly shape who we are. Traits such as courtesy and kindness, generosity and altruism, positivity and persistence, along with taking responsibility and ownership of our lives, are just as crucial as the skills we acquire.
Stay curious, and be thoughtful, until next time
P.S.
Some more quotes on education and learning, which I find quite true:
Don’t just teach your children how to be successful,
teach them how to respond when they are not successful,
teach them how to handle failures and learn from their mistakes.
When your “education” limits your imagination it’s called indoctrination.
Those who cannot think for themselves are truly lost.
Education should be a rewarding experience which allows you to
think, imagine, question, doubt and solve problems.
Education is the acquisition of knowledge,
while intelligence is the ability to use that knowledge to think and reason.
One can be highly educated but not necessarily intelligent, and vice versa.
If the purpose of education is to score well on a test,
we’ve lost sight of the real reason for learning.
Understand. Don’t memorize.
Learn principles, not formulas.
Religion is a culture of faith,
science is a culture of doubt.
